How To Beat A Woman’s Mind Games

Just last week I met up with a mentee of mine (let’s call him John) who writhed to me, “Matt, I’ve been played.” He then complained about the frequent mind games that his woman played on him, and how he got driven to the edge of his sanity from these mind games.

I emphatized with John because I was in a similar position many years ago – way before I founded the Baltimore Seduction Lair ( of course. Over the years, I’ve come to this realization – regardless of whether you are just dating around or are in a serious relationship with a woman, you need to learn how to beat a woman’s mind games if you don’t want to be stepped over by these goddesses all your life.

Mind games come part and parcel with seduction!

Mind games come part and parcel with seduction!

The sad fact is that women play mind games all the time when they want to get men to do things that they want or need (and they may be doing it subconsciously). F0rtunately in some cases, they use methods that are easy to spot, like playing hard-to-get or just blatantly using you altogether. These are red flags that you may want to avoid. Seasoned seducers do not put up with a woman’s nonsense, no matter how hot she is. 😉

So the bottom line is this: no matter what method a woman uses, you should never fall prey to a woman’s mind games.

Woman playing mind games with menFor example, take a quick peek at this interesting article from Marie Claire  (check out the link, but don’t forget to come back) – it discusses and analyzes the dating mind games in a “he said, she said” fashion. After all is said and done, one thing remains clear: you should learn how to beat those simple yet extremely powerful games of theirs.

This way, you can save yourself from any potential embarrassment and get the upper hand in the relationship department altogether. Keep reading to find out what the most common female mind games are and how you can beat them with ease…

The Game of Jealousy

When women start making you jealous with other men by talking to them or praising them around you, even when those men aren’t around; then you should know that you are being played. Women will intentionally try to make you jealous because they know that you will end up trying harder to impress them in the long run when they do so. This is one of the reasons why they might start playing hard-to-get as well.

The best way to beat this game would be not to react to anything that she says at all. Regardless of how over-the-top her praises might be, you shouldn’t show her that you are affected by them. If you stay confident in your skin and do not react to what she says in any way, she will eventually get tired of her game and realize that you aren’t affected by petty things like jealousy anymore. She may even drop going down the route of mind games altogether if you’re lucky.

 The Game of Disrespect

Every couple will go through a time where disrespect is the main problem (indeed, this is one of the biggest sticking points of newbies who just joined the Baltimore Lair). This is basically the stage wherein women want to prove that they still have the upper hand in the relationship. The best way to beat this particular game would be to let her know that you value self-respect more than anything else. Once you open her eyes to this simple fact, she is sure to drop the game and run back into your arms again because she will be afraid to lose you. pretty girl

Move quickly from 2: Comfort to 3: Seduce

So, if you want to learn how to beat a woman’s mind games, you either have to ignore her completely or be blunt with her and scare her a little bit. A lot of the time, women only play these games because they are craving attention.

If you call her out with confidence, stand firm and show her that you won’t tolerate any of that nonsense, she is sure to stop the game altogether. If you don’t do, then the cycle will simply keep on going without end. If this continues, then it’s about time to swallow it up like a real man, then perhaps go to the nearest bar and begin your quest of picking up women and make them your girlfriends. OK, I kid. Maybe. 😉

The Ultimate Cure-All

Through our experience of coaching men in the Baltimore Lair more the last 14 years, we have come to know this: a potent combination of jealousy and disrespect usually marks the end of the seducer. It’s possible to recover, of course, but it’s a steep mountain to climb. Problems like women mind games are best be nipped in the bud.

Remember that mind games are essentially a problem in the STAGE 2 (comfort) phase. The easiest way to overcome this problem is to quickly escalate to STAGE 3 – attraction. And the easiest way to do this is to use fractionation. Indeed, once you mastered this technique you will be able to know exactly what and how a woman thinks – and this is tremendous advantage to any seducer.

We are, however, aware that the fractionation technique can be horribly MISUSED (we have had a “rogue” member who created a legion of women stalking him), and as such, we would like to ask you to USE THE TECHNIQUE RESPONSIBLY. If you do not agree to this condition (our lawyers have asked us to put up this disclaimer), then do not click on this link below

check this out

▶ ▶ Fractionation (DO NOT ABUSE THIS TECHNIQUE) ◀ ◀

Finally remember: FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE!

Matt Ganz SIBG

-Matthew Dian Ganz, founder, Baltimore Seduction Lair (

PS: Leave me messages below if you have got questions.


  1. George Dillard says:

    Great article. I just recently stopped dealing with a women who was all about games. She tried to change the subject when she was in the wrong a lot. And use the phrase “but a gentlemen would” when she wanted her way. So I’m glad I stopped dealing with her and the article is true. The cycle will never end if you except it.
    Hopefully there’s a women out there who doesn’t play those games to an annoying rate.

  2. khanyisani says:

    please send me more tips on how to biet a woman mind games

  3. Paul Loftin says:

    I have a girl who just tried to make me jealous at the club the other night. Now me and her are not together but we have dated in the past and we still talk. How do I handle this one ?

  4. Oh my… this is so written by a guy…
    The title to this should be “If men played the same mindgames girls play”
    This is so not how you “beat” mindgames. This will get you a resented woman who will escalate the mindgames to an annoying, yet addictive level.
    If it´s any use to you.
    First off, you don´t “Beat” a woman´s mindgames, because she´s not trying to compete with you, if you want them to stop, you have to rip them off by the root.
    Women don´t play mindgames because they want “the upper hand” in the relationship. They want your attention, and they want security. This works biologically in your favor. Men are not very fond of giving women the security that they will be there (commitment, ew!) but just as your arousal centre is based on challenge, women´s is based on safety.
    Guys tend to say they don´t like being played around by women, yet they respond to manipulative women so well, while ignoring women who are just as hot, just not as interested on playing with your mind. Many guys don´t even notice they do it, but you need to start putting your money where your mouth is. You don´t like being used? Don´t respond to the girls who represent a challenge, don´t go for the “hard to get” one.
    But anyway, too much intro. Women´s libido decreases when they don´t feel safe around you (emotionally safe, that is) I´m not telling you to lie to her, that is pretty much the mother of all mindgames Guys play games on girls all the time, by the time you know her, she most likely already heard whatever you have to say, and it was a lie before, you are relying on how much she wants it to be true for her to believe you, you don´t want to have to depend on how much she likes you before you even show her the first thing about you. Be honest. Most girls would rather hear a “I´m not sure I want anything serious, but I really like you” over a lame pickup line. They respond positively to pickup lines when they like the guy, so there´s no “line” that will work for anyone. You are really depending on whether she likes what she sees or not. She es likely to play dumb, so that you don´t feel exposed on your lame line, but she will still think it´s lame. If you get to take her home, it was all based on anything, but your moves.
    But anyway, back to the two games you present (which by the way, are bad signs, both of them are immature, even for women who play games)
    The jealousy game:
    This is an insecure woman´s card for attention. If she is complimenting another guy in front of you, first off, discard honesty (If she´s talking about her gay friend, or her cousin, this is not a mindgame, she´s just describing qualities she enjoys being around, if you have them, show her, if you don´t, get them, if you can´t, ignore the statement altogether). If she is talking about a single friend and mentioning how great he is, this is a terrible sign of insecurity. A secure lady is more likely to get the guy to call her while she´s with you, or get a guy to send her flowers, or buy her a gift. If her only weapon is talking about how great some other dude is, this is low. I suggest you back off, but if you really like her, don´t ignore her. The first time, respond with a humorous statement that makes it clear you don´t care about the other guy, but you do care about her, something like “Why are we talking about how great whatshisface is? I´m here to talk about how great (her name here) is!” If this works, she just had a moment of weakness, and she shouldn´t be doing it again. If she does it often, there´s a deeper confidence problem. Anyway, if you just ignore her statements, she might stop doing it, but she will resent you, and later on you´ll be in the “I don´t know why she´s so mad!” spot for ages.
    The Game of Disrespect.
    This is also a bad one, what kind of girls do you date?!
    This is completely unacceptable. If she puts you down, that relationship will never work. This rarely ever is about having the upper hand in the relationship. Women who do this kind of thing will usually disrespect you when they think they already have the upper hand, they are not trying to reassure that, they are so convinced that they are “too good for you” that they think that disrespecting you will cause you to either better yourself up to her level, or compensate for being out of her league with presents, or compliments. This is not a good relationship to have. Even if she is out of your league, it´s not worth it. A woman who disrespects you is not playing a game. She really doesn´t respect you. If you make her think she can lose you, and she tries to get you back, this doesn´t necessarily means she respects you, it just means she still wants you to want her. Just like before, test the water before you go for a solution. Is she really disrespecting you, is she just reacting to something you did that she considered disrespectful (even if you don´t think it is bad at all, if one action from you triggers her disrespect, this is not something she does to you, it´s something you´re both doing to each other, and even though it´s just as unhealthy, it´s not a mind game). If it is a mindgame, you´re dealing with a toxic kind of woman. Back off. If you insist, it´s not as simple. Search below for the one that applies, and find the “workaround” ahead:
    If her disrespectful actions seem to come out of nowhere, but she does go after you if you pull away, give her a limit. More than three times of going after you, but disrespecting you again mean she doesn´t really like you that much, she thinks she´s out of your leage, but she likes having you around to boost her ego. If you like her too much to just go, then, next time you´re with her, while the conversation is good, say you need to go. Be less available, but always make sure to leave at a good moment in the conversation, leave her wanting more all the time, and be less available. When she disrespects you, don´t get angry, don´t tell her anything about it, just take it lightly. Everytime you see her, make sure you leave before she wants you to. This will leave her wanting you everytime, and if you are patient, she will begin respecting you, once she notices you´re not all about her, but without the resentment. You just have a whole life she´s not a part of. She´ll get curious, and start taking you as something more than her “ego booster”
    If she is disrespectful with words, but her actions tell you otherwise (She calls you names, but is faithful and honest, or makes fun of you, but always treats you right in front of people) This is the best case scenario, she was probably just raised in that kind of environment, it is possible that she doesn´t think she is disrespecting you at all, so if you pull away, she is likely to just let you go. The solution to this one is easy too, next time she makes fun of you, just ask her (not aggressively, maybe even laugh at first) “Why do you need to put me down like that?” if she doesn´t answer thinking it´s a joke, hold her hand and ask “no, seriously, why do you?” If she doesn´t think she´s putting you down, explain to her how you feel and ask again. The time will come when she won´t know how to answer, and she might try to stop. Be patient, this may be the result of years of raising.
    If she´s disrespectful, but she always has a “valid” reason for it when she asks for forgivenes (and it always ends up being your fault). TOXIC. Get away from those girls. They might convince you that they are super nice, and that they didn´t mean to
    disrespect you, but you just hurt her so much when you (insert anything you did here). This type of girl is usually “emotionally slutty”. She will tell you “very personal” things very soon on the relationship (some of them may not be true) statements like “I didn´t want to hit you, but you put your hand on my leg, and my uncle used to put his hand on my leg before he abused me” Beware of those too early in the relationship. She will insert a “delicate” matter that you´d better not argue. Even if it sounded untrue, child abuse is such a serious thing, you wouldn´t risk asking too much, right? If she´s sharing very serious issues as “explanations” of why she is disrespectful, get away. Maybe, accept one tragedy as good. If she gives you too many too soon, she is either too troubled for you to handle, or just lying about things people shouldn´t lie about.
    I think this is already a bit too long. But there are so many more “mind-games” out there you should probably know about, but this is already too long.
    I´ll close like I began. If you don´t like being played with, respond to more simple girls, stop responding to the “complicated” women out there. Every girl wishes she didn´t “have to” play them, some don´t and get guys to play with them. Some play them and get a bunch of great guys falling over them. Stop falling for it, and the girls will stop playing them.

    • Read your post. It was like a movie that I could relate with many cases to every single line you wrote. Recently I’ve been involved with a girl who gives too much -I mean too much- of information about so many horrible things that happened to her while I know she can’t be in all that, for example, she can’t be raped by three men and yet talks about it in our first date and yet has done nothing about it, no police calls, no therapy, and just stories about how she was raped. This was the most horrible one from many she shared and every time in our conversations she passes by any of these horrible tragedies that happened in her life like she is window shopping at a mall. I thought she needed attention and I felt pity for her, now she tries to act like what ever I do insults her but she forgives me because she is a very understanding and nice person. I am really confused, I swear I an very gentle and read a lot about women, I watch my behavior but there is always something that hurts her, and I end up apologizing and explaining that I really did not mean to express anything mean thru what I said to her. Tiring. Worst is that I think that I’m in love with her, not sure though.
      Thanks Again

      • Well, this is clear that you were dealing with that type of girl which meant that you were at the same level with her. If you are not of low self esteem, you will totally avoid her. It makes sense.

        Sorry but I laughed at your story.

      • Google “Cluster B” and start reading. The best information comes from those who have been involved with them.

    • DutchMan27 says:

      I didn’t read your article but what caught my eye was that you wrote this – “stop falling for it”.

      Stop the mind games. It’s no use:- trust your instincts so that you find a nice and sweet and perhaps handsome man to love you for the rest of his life. There is NO USE in the mind games, period. Just be honest about what you want and if you get rejected, than that’s the risk of WANTING something.

      In short, just be honest and truthful – you’ll go a long way that way. Same way goes for all the men (the so-called ‘players’). Stop that bullshit and just be yourself. Be less egoistic!

  5. Normal Lady says:

    Greetings! I know this site applies to men dating women, however, I happened to find this site in the google search zone. There is so much truth to the info that is posted on this website. People play so many mind games nowadays that it is deadly. After I broke up with my 2nd ex toward the end of 2008, I discovered that my old friends, and some of my family members as well as my ex’s family were playing lots of games with me. It has nearly ruined my life as well as other people who have been negatively affected by the power of mind games. Many of the games involved a distorted view of how to live your life through deadly competitions. Competitions that involved comparing people, degrading people, preventing people from having access to money, and bullying. It was so terrible that I experienced repeated incidents of cruel behaviors that attacked my character and others who I cared about deeply. One in particular: receiving an email from a man who posed as an employer but really was a terrorist: Paul Harding and Heather Daylight entitled “Loser II” in February of 2009. The email that I sent was a response to a job that I was interested in working but was unable to start due to circumstances. The response was an attack relating to my job status, ability to perform duties and demeaning words that I was shocked to read. I had realized that I was also stuck in other mind games that my female friends had played with me because they were jealous of the relationships that I had with my ex-boyfriends and were doing bad things to me behind my back to knock me down and out of the competitions that they started. It turned into a really ugly situation when I discovered who was involved. I was shocked to see that they were old friends from high school and college and some family who I haven’t spoken to in years. I have been trapped in their games for 5 years and have suffered greatly. I pray that the games will end and that my life will improve but sometimes I don’t know if that is even possible. Mind games can really destroy people’s lives especially when it involves relationships. Particularly when it involves jealousy mind games that can spark a fuse and set people in rage. I think people who do that are EVIL. They are craving more than attention. They just want to start drama. It’s almost like they are addicted to it. This is a good forum to read about issues that we face in our daily lives and how to find ways to prevent it and stop it.

  6. What should you do when a girl you have been dating for 5 months asks if you feel comfortable with her inviting a guy she met at school over to study at her place?…I told her that I do feel uncomfortbale and that I think it’s wrong for her to invite a guy over to study if her and I are sleeping together literally every night.

    She said I don’t need you to tell me what to do…I pay rent and this is my place.

    Anytime I point out what she’s doing wrong she gets upset. I feel like her communication skills are lacking. I’m trying to be the best possible man I can be. The problem escalated and I ended up yelling at her and she got scared. I didn’t mean to scare her just ended up losing my temper.

  7. The South African Guy says:

    I don’t have time for woman who play games. They either like me and show it or they get out of my life.

    • 100% agree. This is yet another ridiculous western concept!

      Exactly like what you said, I do not have time for women who like to play mind games. You beat them simply by not participating in those silly games.

    • dutch girl says:

      I think women who are worthy and smart enough to play mind games to check what they are getting (instead of just going with some dumb guy) will have time for you.

  8. This is true and this happened to me to because there was some girl that said she loved me and showed mos of the signs of liking me but all of a sudden when we dont talk that much one day she had toldbme she doesn’t like me

  9. Keep in mind that 75% of the US population is male because of gender selective technology and abortions of female infants and that a lot of men will always be alone and desperate. Women will always end up with a man.

  10. Don’t put up with games period. If she wants commitment then she should show you she deserves it. If she keeps getting humiliating and abussive then get rid of her BUT give her a good taste of her own medicine before you do. She is a lost cause but you should not let anyone use you like a doormat. Revenge is dish best served cold. Easy way is just to spread the word around about her.

  11. Signore Sabbatino says:

    I need se help. Am married to my wife and its almost a year now. However, immediately after our wedding my wife’s behavior changed tremendously. I initially decided to leave my personal bank account and do most deposit into hers showing transparency. But after some time when I ask for the bank card if I want do some withdraw , she would respond, why don’t you go use yo own bank account. From the time we started our relationship my wife has never been open wit her salary. Instead she ll only do her house obligations and mostly want to know how much making because I do own my own computer business. However, due to her secrecy about stash, I decided also to stop talking about cash and manhe my own financial issues.
    Secondly, she doesn’t allow me to learn wben how to drive her car which was bought while we lived together with her resignation package before we got married.
    Lastly, she likes going through my phone checking my conservations with legion of clients to the extent of phoning and fighting with some of them. The fact is, I ve never cheated on her or intend to. When she is upset to go to some place, she ll firstly go through my phone and pick of a fight then go so that I don’t phone or ask her where she had gone.

    Someone help me, her siblings too insults me and disrespect me. Sometimes I feel maybe its because a foreign guy living in South Africa.
    Please help me, ll this relationship survive? Am beginning to feel as though she is using this strategy to push me away.. but we got a small bby boy of 6months and I love my son so much that I don’t know what to do…

  12. The easiest way to beat a woman at any mind game is don’t marry them.

    As soon as you married a woman all your efforts go down the drain. How do I know? Alpha male, married late in life and after 7 years of marriage she destroyed a family and left the kids with me.

    Marriage is for F’n idiots.

    Nothing wrong with long term commitments, just do not marry them the law is on their side and pretty much everything else, even if they are cheating whores.



    • I think she just wants to dominate you. She might not care about your needs because she might be a feminist!

    • I am so glad that I never married. What I have is my own. Just slept with a very hot babe today. She was great, but whatever. I have run into old school chums who ended up getting their a$$es handed to them by their ex-wives, some of their wives grew fat as pigs, which shows no respect for themselves, and no regard for the poor chumps they married. And the truth is, even if a woman grows as fat as swine, they can still and do still cheat, because there is always some pathetic loser who will do her. Face it, 85% of women look better with their clothing on, yet someone or other is sleeping with many of these women regardless of how repulsive they look. All of that said, when I was a young guy, women treated me with a great deal of respect. From what I see today, women act like trash and try to see how much crap you will take off of them. I think it has plenty to do with our drugged out, alcoholic, mentally deranged society, which is spitting out mini-me´s of diseased parents… also, the whole neg gaming… it is trash culture of narcissism, which is devil worship.

  13. The problem with western culture is that we’re all so fucking spoiled we don’t appreciate nice people. This is why bitches and assholes will always get laid more often than nice guys and nice girls. Privileged people want something they have to work for because they’ve been handed everything else in life. However, instead of complaining about these immature whores, we should do like the article said and ignore them completely. I’ve dealt with many women who play mind games and the second I call them on their shit, they get mad and walk away. I may not get their pussy anymore but at least I’m not being disrespected.

  14. What is obvious to me is the irony, hypocrisy and contempt of the mind games. The gamer ASSUMES that it is a one-way street. Not so fast! The gamer wants you to show your worth and worthiness. Ah, but ’tis a TWO-WAY street! They have to show their worth, too. It is NOT *ALL* about them! Don’t cower to their games nor let them control you with them!

  15. I’m 30 years old and the female I am interested in is 44 with two kids. Her attitude towards me is making me hate her as a person. I enjoy our laughs but its like she show less interest in me. What can I do?

    • Run away two kids! Unless you want to play uno reverse you self out of you there mate for sure… but if you want her attention be there for her when she gets down from looking after kids.

  16. Steelcore1085 says:

    You want to know how to beat a woman’s mind games? You stop playing them or you never play them in the first place! Sometimes, the best way to win is to not play the game at all. That’s what I’ve learned after a long time!

    I’ve learned to pick up on when some girl starts playing mind games with me, so I pick up on it very fast. As soon as she starts playing, I throw the board in her face and don’t bother speaking to her again. I refuse to play mind games, and it pisses me off whenever a girl does them!

    To my fellow men: tell her to kick rocks whenever she starts messing with your head. Find someone who won’t waste your time (but let’s be honest here, those kinds of women don’t seem to exist anymore). Playing mind games is a complete waste of time!

  17. Many of you suggested not to play that kind of game. The problem is (I find it extremely infuriating) is that they still get away with it feeling better about themselves knowing they will continue getting attentions from guys whom they like. They simply WON’T learn anything from their mistakes if you just stop playing that game, instead they will think you are nothing but another loser.

    There are so many whores out there. That’s messed up… but there is a way.. be a dick! Letting her know about her mistakes, insult her, and leave her. That may sound harsh but surely will get your message across. Simple.

    • That’s what I did!! Problem is she’s too stupid to realize it was the truth. Too stupid to realize why I couldn’t make love to her anymore. Games are for children and I’m not turned on by children.

  18. Christopher Michael says:

    LOL – where to start, let’s just get right to it – THEY DO NOT CARE AND THAT IS YOUR ONE SIGN TO AVOID THEM.
    It’s easy to spot a loser girl, gal, woman – avoid them, don;t le them guilt trip you or try and Venus Gap Trap you so they can lie, cheat, steal, kill even just to get what they WANT. See, religion holds one accountable, but whores just WANT because that’s their lives of NO RESPECT – JUST EXPECT. If a girl, gal, woman doesn’t respect herself she ain’t gonna respect you. Don’t even bother with losers like that.
    Men, it ain’t your job to fix what some natural born empty hartlot broke on purpose to emotionally manipulate and lie to you so she can treat you as an option while she grows up and pulls her head on fire out her blown out ass. Sex is all most the losers have and that’s how they trap you SO DON’T FALL FOR IT. NEVER EVER TRUST ANY WOMAN IF YOU ARE A MAN AND THE OPPOSITE GOES FOR THE GIRLS, GALS, WOMEN AS WELL. Also, the single mothers are the problem, they didn’t and still don’t know sh!t but but but… “it’s a man’s fault” LOL! PATHETIC. Ignore the sympathy attention whire bait and leave them be, eventually they’ll all die out.

  19. Mind games is simply ridiculous and a sign of psychological disorder.

  20. Validate yourself instead of seeking approval from others. A gentleman does not get walked over. Move on and dont bite the bait when she tries to make you feel sorry for her or when she tells you how much she misses you. Don’t take the challenge or hope it will be different. The old behaviour will come back and this time she might even go for the kill by cheating on you because you hurt her ego by standing up for yourself. Just walk away and don’t look back. It was fun while it lasted.

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